Finally finally finally....

All paper are over
I feel like having 10 paper instead of only 3 paper
This one week is like forever won't end
And Gosh!
I SURVIVE!
but
haiii
there gona be more...

Anyway, it's all over now
I want to start planning how to spend this 6weeks holiday
working, playing, studying, shopping
I want to spend it fruitfully :)

Today's mood


What Is OCD?
OCD is a type of anxiety (say: ang-zye-uh-tee) that happens when there is a problem with the way the brain deals with normal worrying and doubts. Kids with OCD worry a lot. Sometimes they feel afraid that bad things could possibly happen to them, sometimes they feel that something bad could happen to people they love, or sometimes they feel like they have to get things "just right" and have to check to make sure.

some kids with OCD are afraid of getting dirty or catching germs. Others always worry that their parents will get sick or hurt. Some kids feel that they have to say things a certain number of times, ask questions over and over again, or keep things super-clean as a way to keep bad things from happening.

Some kids even worry about thinking bad thoughts. They sort of believe that thinking bad things could make them come true.

Some kids may also worry about things being out of "order" or not "just right" and they may worry about losing "useless" items or feel the need to collect them.

People with OCD worry so much that they can spend many hours, or even the whole day, worrying about things and trying to make sure the bad things they worry about don't happen.

Worry or OCD?
Of course, it's normal to worry now and then. Everyone does. Kids may worry about getting lost or that something will happen to their parents. They may sometimes feel afraid that they will get sick or hurt. It's normal for kids to worry once in awhile about burglars, fires, or earthquakes. Sometimes, worrying can help kids learn how to be safe and careful. Normal worries come and go without causing too much of a problem.
But OCD is much more than normal worry. Instead, the worry is really intense and it can happen over and over again. With OCD, the brain replays the worry thoughts and if nothing is done, the worry feeling can get worse and worse.
These frequent worry thoughts are called obsessions (say: ob-sesh-unz), and the behaviors people do to try to make the worry thoughts go away are called compulsions (say: kum-pul-shunz).

What Are Obsessions?
A kid who has OCD might have obsessions about illness or injury or cleanliness. And these obsessive worries just don't quit. The brain keeps repeating them instead of moving on to something else. It can be a lot like that awful song you hear that gets stuck in your head. No matter how much you don't want to hear it, your brain just keeps playing it back. The difference is that the obsessive thoughts come with anxiety.
Having upsetting thoughts that you can't get rid of can feel terrible and scary. And having so many worry thoughts can make it hard to concentrate on anything else. OCD can take the fun out of almost anything.
With OCD, someone may have obsessions about:
germs or dirtillness or injury (involving the person or someone else)coming across unlucky numbers or wordsthings being even or straightthings being perfect or just right in a certain waymaking mistakes or not being suredoing or thinking something bad

What Are Compulsions?
Compulsions are the behaviors, or actions, that someone with OCD does to try to shut down the worry thoughts. Another name for compulsions is rituals. By doing compulsions, people with OCD hope to keep bad things they worry about from happening. They believe that doing a certain ritual will make the bad feeling go away and, for a while, it often does. They feel scared that if they don't do the ritual something bad will happen. Some kids may have a difficult time explaining a reason for their rituals and they do them "just because." But in general, by doing a ritual, someone with OCD is trying to feel absolutely certain that something bad won't happen.
Of course, plenty of people who don't have OCD have rituals or actions that are important to them. Maybe you tap your pencil three times before starting a tough test or sing a certain song just before diving off the high dive. Perhaps you have a lucky number or even a lucky pair of socks. But OCD compulsions are much more than doing something just for luck.
Kids with OCD feel they have to do certain things over and over to feel protected from unlucky events or make the anxiety go away. Kids with OCD don't really want to be doing rituals. But when you have OCD, performing the rituals seems like that's the only way to feel safe from bad things happening.
And the more kids with OCD do these rituals, the more they feel like they have to do them. Kids with OCD can end up spending so much time on rituals that they have little time left for the things they really do want to do.

Here are some OCD compulsions:
lots of hand washing or showering (doing this way more than usual or having a hard time stopping)
counting (like having to count 25 white cars before going into school)
touching (like touching every single fence post between home and the bus stop)
checking things over and over (such as doors, locks, or stoves)
doing things a certain number of times (like having to try on five dresses before leaving your room)
arranging things in a very particular or neat way
asking the same question over and overtying and retying shoes over and over until they feel just right

What Causes OCD?
Obsessive-compulsive disorder isn't contagious, so you can't catch it from someone like you can a cold. Second, kids with OCD have not done anything wrong or bad to get it. It's not their fault that they have it.
Nobody knows exactly how and why some people get OCD, though scientists are beginning to learn about it. Experts know that:
OCD runs in families. Many kids with OCD have another person in their family who has OCD or another type of anxiety. Exactly how OCD is passed on in a family is not yet known, but scientists are trying to learn about genes that may get passed on that make people more sensitive to worry problems like OCD.OCD comes from a problem with the way the mind handles messages about fear and doubt. This problem probably has to do with the chemicals that carry messages to nerve cells in the brain. If the flow of these chemicals gets "blocked," or if there is not enough of them, messages about doubts and worry seem to get "stuck." This leaves a person with a feeling that something's not right and creates lots of worry thoughts.Some experts are studying the connection between OCD and the body's immune system response to a strep infection. In some cases, it seems that OCD and strep infections may be related. When OCD starts after a strep infection, the symptoms appear suddenly and very intensely. Most people who get strep infections, though, don't get OCD.Who Gets OCD?Kids with OCD are not alone. In the United States, about 1 million children and teens, both boys and girls, have OCD. That's about 1 in every 200 children and teens. In some studies including adults, OCD was reported as commonly as 1 in 50 people. You might know someone who has OCD and not even realize it.

What's Life Like for Someone With OCD?
Living with OCD can be very hard. Compulsions often take up lots of time and energy, making it hard to finish homework, do chores, or have any fun. Some kids even find it difficult to go to school or make friends. Sometimes kids feel ashamed. They know the behaviors seem silly to other people, so they often keep it to themselves. It can be really difficult to talk about OCD! But dealing with something all alone can make it even harder.
Sometimes, even parents and friends who know about a person's OCD have a hard time understanding that OCD is not just a bad habit. They might act impatient or make it seem like a person could just stop if he or she tried hard enough. But with OCD, the need to do rituals can feel too strong to ignore. Some kids say that OCD is like hearing a constant, nagging voice that tells them bad things could happen if they don't do certain things. Some kids say it seems like OCD takes over everything.

It's important to remember that with some help, kids with OCD can get better. Kids usually are really relieved when the symptoms of OCD get weaker and they begin to feel stronger. It feels good to be free of OCD!

http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/ocd.html#




It's so stessing
It's so torturing
It's so unbearable

For how many years had passed?
For how much time i've taken?
For how long it gona be?
For how am i going overcome this?

HOW?

It's so torturing...
Almost everyday, i'll at least cried once.
Crying has become a normal rountine during this period.
i'll always feel sleepy after crying
Head so bloated, eyes so swollen
but its help
For awhile only...
Everyday, i'll tell myself the same thing over and over again
but still, useless in the end
I've run out of motivation
nobody can help me
i can't help myself too

i give up...




PROUD THAT SINGAPORE GET THE RIGHT TO ORGANISE THE FIRST EVER YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES!!! O YAY O YAY O YAY HEY! O YAY O YAY O YAY HO! YOU ARE THE ONE SINGAPORE!!!
AND I'M SO GOING TO GET ONE OF THE TICKET TO WATCH YOUTH OLYMPIC GAMES!!! :D






HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!
MUACK!!!
<3<3<3



Study break started long time ago. I think for my case is last thursday. Since there's actually no Idea jumpstart and Sport & Wellness on friday so there is no need to go school on that day. Happy:D I think it's quite true that Ngee Ann is going to be the best polytechnic in Singapore because of the way it's functioning now. Like pushing students to their limit by giving tests every week, regular check of tutorial homework and more. I have to admit, in my course, you can't afford to miss any of the days because they are equally improtant. Hai... And fyi, MBIO aggregate score was supposed to be 12 last year, which mean if you get 12 and below you can get into this course. However, this year it turns out to be 10. That mean that all of the people who are year 1 this year, including me actually get 10 pointer and below! It's so freaking shocking! I mean it's like how is it possible for the score to jump so much, from 12 to 10! I supposed all the people in MBIO are too clever.

Actually, I don't really like the fact that how people use to compare us to the BMS students. (fyi. you would need to get at least a 9 pointer to get into BMS) People would think that MBIO are students who can't get into BMS and so got thrown into MBIO (I admit I was one of them, but it was because there's not enough places for me) or they would think it's some sort of engineering course just because of the word ''technology'' behind. Or maybe, they will ask " is it something like BMS?", "is it in the same school as BMS?" Come on people. Knows what you are talking before replying can? I mean it's like MBIO is also an equally popular courses compare to BMS, and we are not any lousy either. At least everyone in MBIO get a 10 pointer and below, which this score can get all of us a place in Junior Collage such as Nanyang JC. ok, maybe i'm too sensitive. But i just somehow have this feeling or thought.

Study break day list
Thursday - one hour test and end school. Shopping with Yokeling and Yanrong
Friday - SG dinner at Ajisen, overnight stay at friend's house
Satuday - reach home and continue sleeping ZZzzzzz
Sunday - swimming at CCK complex with Xiuxuan (had cup noddle and takoyaki :D)
Monday - watch 3 Movie, 2 Drama and 10 episode of Anime
Tuesday - Slack whole day, watch anime
Wednesday - Slack whole day
Thursday - Slack whole day =.="

Gosh!!! i'm going to rot sooooooooooooon. Been slacking and slacking and slacking. Having nothing but a pig life! RAGH! Exam coming soon, but i just couldn't get myself into studying. Ragh! where's the hardworking and humble jiaying go to? Ragh! where's the always jiayou-ing jiaying go to? Ragh! where's the "must do my best" jiaying go to? RAGHH!!!! ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO SCORE WELL! I WANT TO GET INTO LOCAL UNIVERSITY! I WANT TO GET AT LEAST 3.5 GPA FOR THIS SEMENSTER! I WANT TO SHOW EVERYONE AND MYSELF THAT I CAN DO IT! I WANT TO BE THE BEST!

I DON'T WANT WHEN I LOOK BACK INTO MY LIFE AND REGRET! I DON'T WANT TO LET MY MUM, MY DAD, MY FRIENDS, MY TEACHERS AND WHOEVER BEEN SUPPORTING ME DOWN! I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS!

THIS IS NOT ME! DEFINITELY NOT ME! NOT ME AT ALL!!!

ok, I will 加油 :)

need to start planning my timetable

p.s. i'm darn pissed by my "shift" key!

Monday never go school cause haven't finish my homework
and i feel like completing them before i'm ready for new chapter
I think it's okay not to go school once a while just to study at home or
like you think that going for that class is a waste of time
then why not just stay at home and do your own stuff?
But i'm not encouraging to skip school and miss lecture
just. spend your time on the right things
so will find me MIA once awhile lar
don't be surprised
haha...:P
but then, still
i should have plan my time well so that i can finish what i should on time
then i wouldn't have to miss any lecture or class
cause every lesson in poly for my course is equally important!
and i would somehow feel guilty not going to school without mc
is like, i don't have the "quan li" not to go school or something similar to that meaning
this guilty feeling is not nice at all
cause i can't do anything to "ni pu"
haiiii..... sad.....
and OMG!
my course is like darn stress de
is like every week, there will be at least one quiz or test
my timetable is like always so packed with alot of things especially studies
don't really have extra time for relaxing
not like those in ba
then my friends will always say that her friend studying in ibz is so slack
then those in sp also very slack
their tutorial don't need do cause teacher no check
then can don't go for lecture cause not important
can go home early
hai....
so not fair...
haha
but i think it's okay lar
now bitter, later then will be sweet :)
Tuesday got Microbio lab test
as usual, last minutes chiong study
just scan through everything and roughly know what we learn before
then jiu go for test
but then i feel it's like errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..... lame?
studied every practical cause thought everything will come out
this is what out teacher say too
she say to study everything cause everything will come out
but then the tue lab test is like huh? like that only ar? not all come out lor.
zzzzzzzz.....
hahaha but nvm lar.
at least can scored jiu happy le :D
weds never go school
haha...
ok i think i going overboard for skipping lesson le
should try not to do that often
not good...
thurs just one hour of school then jiu end of first semenster until exam come
YAY!
and thurs physiology online quiz i never study as usual but score fairly lar
hahaha
wonder if i studied, what will happen to my scored :P
no lar..
i should be hardworking and jiayou!
not good not to study for test everytime
really not good.
after thurs school go bugis shopping
then friday SG dinner
and.....
my entires is like so short and sweet
summaries everything into one sentences and done
haha!
ok nights :)